Online Dating 101: The Age Factor
For 40-ish women seeking lifetime partner and romance online, age factor is the next big thing. There is no sense in defying age because the truth will always hunt you down. Your age has a big factor both for you as a seeker and the person you are seeking for. If you are within this age range you either are looking for a partner who are of the same age or a bit older than you are but very rare that you will be looking for partners half your age unless you are Samantha Jones of Sex in the City.
Since you already accepted the fact that you are not getting any younger, you have to realize that age factor is a vital point in goal setting. This is important because you will need it as a point of preference for seeking your match. There are 3 age categories that you have to consider.
1. Chronological – This is your “real” age. It is based on the real date of your birth (day, month and the year). Most women always lie about it. They always avoid any question leading to it. And they always deny it. This category is always abused, altered and misrepresented. Some can get away without a problem. Others are caught red-handed. And a few ones are still in the state of denial. So, when you go online, you either tell the truth or lie about your age. It’s your choice. Just remember, God is watching you.
2. Biological – This is your age based on your physical appearance. You may be familiar with the saying… you don’t look your age. Well, it maybe two things. Either you look older than your age or otherwise. If you look younger that your age, you will feel motivated and proud of yourself. You will have no problem telling someone your chronological age because you love to hear them say… “Really? You look younger! I thought you are only 26 years old”. For a 40-ish woman, this is a big thing. [I know how it feels, trust me.] But if you look older than your age, you might want to deny it. Sometimes you will feel discouraged but don’t lose hope there are lots of options you can take. Invest on your appearance. Upgrade your lifestyle and you’ll never go wrong with that.
3. Psychological – This is the age that you set your mind on. So, this is a mind-set age, so to speak. This is the age that you want to stay in forever. This is the number of candles that you constantly put in your birthday cake year after year after year. This is the age that you tell people [without guilt] when they asked how old are you and it remains constant.
Here’s the thing, when I was in the US Embassy waiting for my interview for my Fiancé Visa, I met a few women who were there for the same purpose. I met a 19-year old girl whose fiancé is a 40-something divorcee whom she doesn’t know what kind of works he does. I met a 26-year old woman whose fiancé is a 71-year old widower. I also met a 40-year old separated lady with a 9-year old daughter [who was also included in the petition] whose fiancé is a 50-year old single but with 2 kids. And I am a 42-year old [virgin] never been married and no kids whose fiancé is a 50 year old divorcee with 3 kids. The bottom line is… age may be a big factor, so you might want to consider it in your decision making process.
When you are at this age, it’s very rare that you might find the most eligible-never-been-kissed-never-been-hitched-and-never-been-screwed-up bachelors online. The guys you will meet online seeking for relationships [serious or otherwise] are either single with kid/s or divorcee [with or without kid/s] or widower [with or without kid/s]. So be prepared for the extra baggage because that is something you cannot get rid of.
When you are 40-ish woman, there is no room for being fussy. You cannot be picky because you are buying times already. And with this in mind, there is one question you need to answer with all honesty – am I ready to the BIG PLUNGE ©
Online Dating 101: The Seeker
Here is the thing. Your personal predicament in the predisposed-intimate-relationship department officially considered you ready for the next level. This is the “testing-the-water” state where you need to be geared to the tee. Actually, this is the easiest part in the entire online dating process because you don’t have to go through another soul-searching methodology that you already subjected yourself in during the first few previous articles.
Taking into action your decision, you are bound to find the consequences of what it takes to be a seeker. That is the sad reality. You are then considered a seeker. And you have to accept that fact. Being a seeker means a lot to anybody. If you are a woman coming from a conservative cultural background where women are supposed to be sought after, this action is somewhat a shocking truth. But as they say… you got to do what you got to do. This is what I meant by – going to the offensive.
Being a seeker has both the advantages and disadvantages. One of the advantages is that, you have now the power to choose. You can set your own standard and work around it. You don’t have to try hard to be chosen because you are the one who will make the selection. Doesn’t it give you power, or what? With regards to the disadvantages, I let you discover that. But the most important thing is that… you should be able to identify what kind of a seeker are you?
There are different group of seekers that an online dater can be categorized. It all depends, of course, on your personal sexual preference. Here are some of the different categories that maybe a helpful deciding factor for seekers and online daters alike.
1. MEN-SEEKING WOMEN: Women who prefer men, obviously, fall on this category. Most 40-ish women who are seeking men for future partners are on this boat. This is the category for women who are ready to take that big step in deciding for their future. This is your starting point where you will take the leap of faith in finding your prince. This is the category where you will be promoted as seeker of that life-ever-after ending. This is the category where women-seeking men will browse… to find and look for you.
2. WOMEN-SEEKING MEN: This is the opposite of the women who prefer men. This is your prospective seeker if you are a woman [in the real sense of the word]. This is the category where men-seeking women will browse… to go to the offensive. This is the category where you will make your personal choice and selection of your prospective princes. This is the category for what so called - straight men. They are the [practicing] hetero-sexual human beings in search of the opposite life or [sex] partners. They are potential partners who are capable of a lasting relationship or the opposite. And they come in all sizes, color and shape, literally and figuratively.
3. MEN-SEEKING MEN: The existence of the third sex is undeniably acceptable. They already have their own place under the sun. They have equal rights just like any straight men. They have freedom to live according to their sexual preference and good thing their rights are legally recognized now. Men can now marry their gay partners. So there is hope for everyone.
4. WOMEN-SEEKING WOMEN: This is the opposite of the gay men seekers. If you are a woman who prefers another woman, this is your category. This is legit too. Your rights are equally recognized just like the gay men.
5. MARRIED BUT LOOKING: Let it be known that there are people who are not satisfied with their present status in life. There are people who don’t feel fulfilled in one aspect of their lives. And there are people who are plain adventurous. This is a valid category. This is a universal category. This category is for both men and women who are in relationship or wanting to get out of it or just wanting to play a game or two. And in the online dating arena, their needs are acknowledged and addressed. But if you are really looking for a real-life partner and seeking a real relationship and not just a new “sports”, then this is not the one for you. Because there will be complications that one has to deal with along the way. But then, there are cases where there are married women who got lucky and were able to find her ideal life partner. But that is an isolated case. The point is – there is still hope for those who are already in a relationship, so have faith.
6. And THE OTHERS (not specified): This category is flexible. You can even create your own specific category and invite people to join you here. You can come up with anything and your imagination is your only limitation. This could be a combination of the 5 other categories mentioned above. So this is considered as “whatever category”.
So, whatever your sexual preference is, you have equal rights to seek and to be sought. Once you know your category, the next step is deciding on the AGE FACTOR. ©
Online Dating 101: Getting Started
When I started learning how to use the computer I was only thinking how it will help me with my line of work. Being a teacher, it helped me a lot with my lessons and grade computations. Little did I know that it will also help me find a husband.
In online Dating, decision making is a painstaking process especially if you are not sure of its possible outcome. Even if you were able to make a [fuzzy] mission statement and a [vague] vision of your future in online dating, still there will be a shade of apprehension about the upshot of what you might be deciding on. We both know too that mission and vision are still elusive at this point due to some uncertainties that you harbor at the back of your mind because honestly, the reality is still surreal especially if you are the conventional and typical kind of person.
When I started learning to know the great possibilities that I can do with the computer, it dawned on me how important this tool not only in my work but in my future as well. I took advantage of those opportunities that I can get out of it. I used them to the fullest. I taught myself to use them to benefit my love life. I explored all options that could be advantageous to my personal concerns. And I am now enjoying the result of my hard work.
Yes, online dating is a real hard work just like any other relationship for that matter. And one of the hardships that you will encounter is – getting started. It’s hard to start especially if you do not know what to do… where to go… when to go… and how to go there.
In order to get started, you should be able to deal with the 3 Ws and an H.
WHAT: This is the first issue that you need to address with all honestly. By this time, you should already have a clear idea of “what” you want to do with you life. But this is not really that complicated anymore when you already have your mission statement. In other words, the “what” is your starting point to the next step of the decision making process which is… to figure it out how you will make your mission-vision come true. The “what” will be then more tangible and concrete and this will guide you to “where” you want to go.
WHERE: Where – is always associated with location, a special place or a respite where you can search for that one special someone in your vision. So it could be first and foremost, the place where you will go online. It could be the internet café or a friend’s place or your own [In my case, I used all of the above]. Once you have decided on that, “where” is also the specific place where you see your vision being manifested. This means that you must have in mind which part of the world your special someone must come from. Please be aware that there is a great possibility that once you found your soul mate and when things between you get serious, the odds of you being relocated is huge. You will have to accept the fact that you will have to give up everything [I mean it] in order to be with that someone. But if your dream is to live and work abroad, then this is not a problem at all. Where also denotes two actual places: the free social network [like YM Chatroom, where I found my guy] and paid matchmaking network [like eHarmony and others]. (Note: There will be a separate article on this special topic.)
WHEN: When – refers to time. This is a very important factor in online dating. You must have it. You must commit to it. You must give in to it. There should be no alibi now. Having no time is not an excuse for you to go online. Once you have the time, you will soon develop a habit and that is common… that is natural… and that is the norm for anyone who decided to seek online dating. You will be hooked once you learned how to do it. You will have sleepless nights and you might want to give up your night job or God forbids… even your day job just to be online 24/7. It’s addictive. That is one of the downside of it.
HOW: This is the go-getter of the entire process. Technically, the “how” is the skill that you need to acquire to be able to make your mission statement and vision a reality. First, you need to learn the basic skill in computing. And from there you are good to go. You don’t have to be a computer savvy. Nope, you only need to know some special commands and everything will be a breeze. You can ask help from the staff of the internet café or your friends and anyone who are available and willing to help you and you are all set. Once you learn the skill you are now ready to catch the biggest fish in the ocean. You are now licensed to fish.
But there is still one W that is not mentioned from the discussion above. That W stands for – the WHO. It was not really mentioned because this issue is kinda subjective. Of course you already have in your mind what kind of a person you are looking for, the place where you might want to spend the rest of your life but never whom you are spending it with… that is why you are seeking. The “who” is that person you are looking for and you will be amazed with the result. Here, you don’t need any skill. What you do need is – the faith. The “who” is the W that will give your search a spice of mystery. Now that you know all these… are you ready to be the big S? THE SEEKER, that is. ©
Online Dating 101: The Vision
When I reached 40, I drew up my mission statement – I am a woman… I am still single… I am 40… And I am not getting younger. Therefore, I got to get hitched, one way or another. So help me God!.
When I reached 40 I thought life will begin there. I was hopeful. I was optimistic. I was confident. Well, blame it to the cliché – Life begins at 40. Eventually I found out… 50 – is the new 40. OMG! This can’t be happening… was all I said. At the back of my mind, I was asking myself… does it mean I still have 10 more years to play safe? OMG [part 2]! This can’t be true… was all I said. At hindsight, I was beginning to cave in.
When you reached 40 and you wake up one day realizing that you are tired of waking up alone, you do need someone. And once you accepted it, you begin to explore possibilities how to address your needs. Once you get an idea, you can draw up a plan which [if you do not have yet realized] is considered as your mission. The mission is – to wake up having someone on my bed. Well, that could be the simplest, most direct-to-the-point, no-pretense, non-condescending and no-non-sense mission anyone could come up with. There is nothing wrong with that. What matter is that… you already have a concrete plan of what you want in your life and for your future.
When you reached 40, it is your mission to do something with your life because nobody will do it for you. But a mission will not be a mission per se if you are not willing to venture into the next level. You need to imagine that mission. You should be able to see in your mind what the future holds. You must live, eat, drink and breathe your mission. Otherwise, everything will just be a dream – a dream with no certainty… a dream with no conviction… a dream with no assurance. And you will spend the rest of your life alone. So sad! Having a mission is only a way for you to have a tangible reason to see in your mind’s eye what you want in your life. Simply put – from mission evolves vision.
When I reached 40, I started imagining my life as a housewife and a mother. I would role-play the vision in my daydream. I would imagine how my life as a housewife and a mother would start and end. I would imagine how I would take care of my family. You see, when the truth is far from the reality, the most convenient way to live life is to see it in your mind. At least there, you have a perfect storyline.
When I haven’t reached 40 yet, I believed I was a princess. And someday, my prince charming will come and make me his queen. But it didn’t happen. Hundred years passed by [just exaggerating to fit the fairytale theme], I found myself wandering in cyber jungle and ta-da… I found my prince. We fell in love and in no time I was on a jet plane heading to farther-than-far-away-land. When the plane touched down, reality knocked and my prince charming turned out to be a frog. Just kidding! Of course, he is no royalty but he is the King of the Hill [in the real sense of the word] then he married me and that made me a Queen, right? The moral of the story is… my vision evolved into a reality.
When you reached 40, you need a mission. You have to state it and believe that you can attain it. Then have a vision of how you can achieve your mission. Don’t under-estimate the power of positive thinking. I am a firm believer of that. I am a big fan. It gives you power over your doubts. And it prepares you to… GETTING STARTED. ©
Online Dating 101: The Mission
Finally, you have accepted the fact that you need someone to make your life complete. You accepted the reality that you need someone to grow old with. And you accepted the truth that you are not getting any younger. The next step to do now is… to set a mission. Draw a personal mission statement that will fuel your personal undertaking with burning desire.
Yes, you have to psyche yourself up that you are ready to dig in. Set a goal. Have a clear objective of what you want to do. Draw your personal aspiration. Present your mission statement with solid conviction. Come up with a hard rationale why you want to go on online dating. And find a firm motivation to make you decisive.
When you have decided that you want to invest on a cyber relationship, you already have an idea on how your fairytale will achieve the happy-ever-after. Of course, we all want that happy ending. We all want our relationship to last forever. We all want the till-death-do-us-part become a reality. But relationship is a hard work. So you better set that goal. What do you want in a relationship? What can you sacrifice for a relationship? How do you sustain a relationship? Like any relationship, we always look for the positives. But we should also consider the fact that there are always two sides of the coin.
Wanting a relationship means you know the difference between wants and needs. Are you looking for love because you want it or you need it? Because eventually you may be asked – Do you want me because you need me or you need me because you want me? You have to be ready to answer that question and justify your answer. Notice that I have not mentioned the magic word – LOVE, yet. Because love is the aftermath of all the troubles that you will go through… if and when you will get lucky. Please note that not all will be successful in finding one-true-love in Online Dating. Online Dating is only one of the options.
In any relationship, love should be one’s goal. But in reality, I know this is not all so true. There are people who are seeking “love” [the most abused word in the dictionary] for personal convenience and there are lots of those in Online Dating. And everybody who engaged in this dating business is aware of that. There is nothing wrong if you are looking for love because you are afraid to grow old alone, you just wanted a future. There is nothing wrong if you are looking for love because you need someone to pay your bills, you are just being practical. There is nothing wrong if you are looking for love because you want to go abroad, you just want to fulfill your dream. There is nothing wrong if you need a father/mother for your kids, you just need someone to lean on. Whatever your reason is, it could be considered a shallow “mission” just yet. But that could be the start. What is wrong is, taking advantage of that person you found online, using him/her and damping him/her once you get what you want. You will be surprised that there are lots of people with the same agenda as yours. But still there is really such a thing as “love in cyber-nation”. Just be honest with your purpose. You don’t have to say it bluntly and right away the first meeting or you will shoo that person right away.
My hubby was already engaged to be married to another Pinay [annulled with two kids] when I met him online. He told me that very first meeting that his Filipina girlfriend just died and he was lonely and he wanted to meet someone again. He was so honest from the very first time. I told him too that I was in a relationship that time and that my French boyfriend who supposed to come to the Philippines to meet me turned out to be a liar. So I was honest too. Eventually, we became closer by just being friends at first. Me - giving him advise and consoling him from his loneliness and him - making me feel important, needed and wanted… we end up liking each other. And the rest is history.
“True love” is a reality. There are people who found it. There are people who are living it. There are people who are enjoying it. Two people can find true love and whatever selfish reason one may have will be erased by the magic of love or rather, one’s pure intention will be blessed with a real happy-ever-after. And this – should be your VISION. ©
Online Dating 101: Acceptance
So you have decided that you want to try online dating. You already made up your mind to take the plunge. And you are ready to trust your gut instinct to seek that “one-true-love” in the cyber-nether-land. But before taking that first big step, there is still one important thing that you have to reflect on – acceptance.
Let me tell you a story. When I was in my mid-30s, I already have some doubts if I will really get hitched or not. I had no relationship. I had no social life. I had no contingency plan. It was a scary feeling but I didn’t entertain it much for fear that it will materialize. Like any woman passed her marrying age, I was scared out of my wits. But I tried hard to camouflage the emotion with self-denial. When people would ask me when I would get married, I would usually say… “I am happy as is”. “I don’t need a man to make me feel otherwise”. “I’m busy with work and don’t even have time for myself”. “If it is God’s will for me to stay single, I don’t care”. And yada… yada… yada. All lies! God knows how hard I pray to find the guy of my dream. I have lots of novena prayers to different saints [I am a catholic, btw] asking for their miraculous intercessions to find my man. And I went to join some pilgrimage to make special wish for a husband. It was depressing. When I hit 40, I realized one thing… I need to stop hoping and praying and start doing. God helps those who help themselves, right? So I did just that.
Acceptance is the most important thing to consider in making the right decision. It is the most significant factor to decide whether you are ready to make a paradigm shift or not. And it is the first thing to do to make your dream a reality. Not unless you accept the fact that you are indeed looking for love, you ain’t gonna find it. Denial is like a cancer feeding on your healthy self-esteem. When you finally accepted the fact that you need someone to make your life complete then, it will be easier for you to make the right decision on when… where… and how… you can find that special someone.
Acceptance is not as easy as ABCs. You need a lot of motivation to do it. You need to zero-in to your self-importance. You need to grow thick skin. You need to be a hardcore maniac to accept your decision. And that means you have to disregard what people will say. People will talk. Oh yes, they are good at that. People will gossip behind your back. Oh yes, you have to get used to it. People will say all things imaginable that might engulf your ego and back out. Oh sure, people will discourage you big time. And it’s up to you to do the next step. Your fate now lies in your own hands.
Love doesn’t grow on trees. You have to seek it. You have to chase it. You have to search for it. You have to make a choice. Go global, that’s the thing of the present. If you are looking for love… surf it. Sign up for it. Log in to it. Get connected and you will get the benefits one way or the other. Love is a decision. Love is pro-active. Love is an incredible mission.
So, are you looking for love? Do you have the stomach for it? Are you psyched up enough to set out for it? Are you convinced yet? Then, make IT your “MISSION.“ ©
Online Dating 101: The Introduction
Intercultural relationship is the present and the future of the fairytale happy-ever-after and online dating tops the list in the different aspects of intercultural marriages. According to statistics, online dating resulted to 120,000 marriages a year. That is why a lot of online dating websites [eHarmony.com, Match.com, Chemistry.com, etc.] are banking on “match-making’ trade because there is a huge market for it. In this regard, I would like to share my personal experiences on this subject matter. I will be posting series of articles on this topic alone to guide people who are in serious quest for that “one-true-love”.
All articles that will be posted here will have the following general objectives: To be able… 1.) to know if online dating is the “thing” for you; 2.) to gain knowledge on how to introduce yourself to the global dating arena and explore other options to meet your personal needs; and 2.) to recognize what is the right decorum in conducting your best interest and achieving your personal goals.
The following are the three important factors in online dating and decision-making process.
FIRST: Is online dating… for you? Answer these following questions: Are you in your 30s and still single? Are you looking forward on Friday nights to watch movie marathon on DVD and spending more time at home doing chores on weekends? Is the only guy or gal you know within the 3rd degree of consanguinity? Are going to church, market and town hall meetings your only social activities? Are you avoiding class reunions, family gatherings and even funerals? If your answers are YES to all of these questions, then… online dating could be your best option to finally get hitched.
SECOND: Are you ready to take the plunge? If YES… then learn basic computer applications. It is a pre-requisite in online dating. You don’t have to buy your own computer unit because eventually and hopefully, you might get it for free. There are some cases wherein the person you met online is generous enough to buy you a computer so he/she can get you more committed to him/her. But since that is still in the drawing board, the internet cafés are the official place where you can invest on. But don’t worry… your investment will be paid off once you found someone who is generous enough to send you money via Western Union [Note: This is not a paid advertisement of W.U.] to pay for your internet fees. This practice [if you can call it as such] however, is more prevalent among “men-seeking women” category.
THIRD: Do you know how to use your gut instinct? There is no better way to approach your heart’s concern but with extreme caution, vigilance and basic common sense. Meeting someone online is easy as ABCs but finding out who is the right one is wicked tough if not frustrating. So be sharp and smart enough to know hidden agendas because you also have to consider the fact that sexual offenders and predators are not urban legend. They are online by-standers waiting for the right moment to attack innocent victims.
PLEASE NOTE that this Online Dating 101 is a personal self-help article(s) made by a 40-ish woman for 40-ish people seeking love, relationship and companionship with the aid of the Internet. This tackles personal experience based on personal encounter and limited to personal observations, knowledge and understanding. Please note too that Online Dating varies in age. In this regard, this article is concentrated to people in their mid-30s to late 40s age range who are single, single-again, separated [by choice or consequences], widow/widower [by fate or otherwise], in relationship [but-still-seeking-and-unsatisfied-social-status] or anyone in that age range who are in search of a special connection with another human being from probably half around the world or just a stone’s throw from the neighborhood who are equally daring, enterprising and audacious enough to enter into an unorthodox and unconventional kind of relationship.
So think hard and think twice. Online dating is not for everyone. So be warned. It is not for the faint of heart. So be careful. It could be an option or the missing link to your happiness. So beware. If you have decided to go for it, then the next questions is… are you willing to ACCEPT the challenge? ©
The Thing of the Past and the Present
Mail-order Bride is a thing of the past. But intercultural marriage is still the thing of the present. Intercultural relationship defied discrimination against race. Intercultural marriage challenged cultural barriers. And intercultural union disputed geographical obstacles. Therefore, there is nothing that can change or alter it because of one important reason – it is acceptable. Two people of different culture, race, tradition, orientation and background are bind together with common understanding, dedication, acceptance and commitment. And with these facts, our society has totally recognized its existence if not the significance of this kind of relationship.
Online dating is just one aspect of intercultural marriages. With the gift of technology, more people become more open-minded and less prejudice. They welcome new prospects in terms of relationship or simple association. They are tolerant to new kind of commitment or compromise. That is why more people are embracing this kind of interpersonal affair.
I have no regrets. Since I wouldn’t have taken any other route, it is a fact that this is the kind of relationship that I really wanted for myself. Intercultural relationship is my personal choice. Nobody pushed me into it. Decision making is both a struggle and a process. It was not easy. I had to make sacrifices. I had to take into considerations a lot of things other than my personal judgment. And I had to accept a lot of things that are parts and parcels of the relationship. ©
When You Forget to Smell the Roses
My mother used to tell me… Don’t forget to stop and smell the roses. And I did just that. I was a real good girl. I had a wonderful childhood. I had a fruitful transition from puberty to young adulthood. I became a successful adult in terms of career and personal life. I had my fair share of achievements, successes, and relationships here and there because I did what I was told.
Then my mother had a stroke. I had to give up a promising career and head back home to take care of her. I had no regrets. The corporate jungle was no longer a fun place, anyway. I was stressed out. Work was no longer exciting and fulfilling. And my personal life suffered a big blow. It was time to take a different path after all.
While my mother was recuperating, I went back to school to take units in Education. A change of career was the best thing for me to do at that time. I changed from being a corporate executive assistant to a high school teacher. It was a 360 degrees turn. But it was amazing.
I taught high school kids for 11 long years. It was the most life-changing experience for me. Life went on for me. And I was happy, productive and motivated. It was on the 4th year of my teaching career when my mom passed away. It was difficult but I moved on and continued teaching. Since then, my job took a lot of my time and before I knew it, I was already fast approaching my late 30s with no social life, no romantic involvement and no future plans. That’s what happened when I stopped smelling the roses.
I reached rock bottom when I hit 40. You know what they say, life begins at 40 and I have no life to begin with. My brother [the middle child] already has 3 wonderful kids whom I claimed my inspirations. What else can I do? I don’t have my own inspirations to brag, so I stole my brother’s kids for inspirations. I was avoiding class reunions. School works are my constant alibis. And I was a mess.
But with the magic of technology, I had not known that things for me will take a different twist. I can’t recall how it all started. All I knew was that my girlfriends [those who are still single and matured in age] and I were always playing joke that maybe we are meant for – The International Market. And so I took that joke seriously. Since I am not really interested and attracted to Filipino men, I finally took the most radical step to find my Prince Charming. So I went online. First time I did was to promote myself in Friendster one of the most popular social networks in the Philippines.
It may look as if I really took the joke seriously but it just so happened that it also worked for me. I met a lot of people [mostly guys] and had some unorthodox relationships online for a span of 4 years. Online relationship has become a world wide trend and I was there making history. It’s not a fictional thing that people are trying to figure out. I can’t say that everybody is doing it but it is happening. It is real. It is there and readily accessible to anyone interested, confused or curious.
I did meet someone. We had developed an understanding. We made plans. He came to meet me personally. But still it didn’t work out. I also met someone who promised me everything except the moon and the stars, but still didn’t happen. It was exasperating. Four years were too long for me. I realized that maybe I am not meant to go that route. And so I gave up. I’ve finally given up but still went online just to talk to friends but no longer fishing for big fish. But lo and behold… that very moment when I finally gave up… that was when I met the “love of my life”.
Finally, I was able to stop and smell the roses again. ©
The Modern Day Quest
Is love really hard to find or just evasive? Is love the ultimate goal of humanity or just a kind of sports to measure one’s strength? Is love all around us or just a cliché? Love… love… love… where art thou?
Modern day romance has retained a certain degree of mystery which is considered as a redeeming factor in the “love department” since time immemorial. But the current trend in romantic involvement in this modern day, be it in the pursue for the one true love… the search for one’s soul mate… or the waiting for the knight-in-shining armor… follows the same degree of ambiguity that lovers cannot explain. And yet, lovers still take a leap of faith into the abyss of uncertainties to find the missing part in their heart. This is however, highly hypothetical.
By now, we already know a lot of love stories ever told. And we can relate to them. We sometimes fantasize some of them. Oftentimes we emulate a few of them.
Looking for love in this age of technology is easy. So it seems. It is an advantage for a woman of my age though. The gift of technology is a blessing in disguise because it became a powerful tool to find one’s heart’s desire.
As you may have known by now, I found my “knight-in-shining” armor online. The internet is instrumental to my destiny. It became my life-line to the netherworld of my strong-hopeless-romantic-optimism. It has nonetheless, saved me from the curse of “singlehood”.
It was a tedious quest so to speak. It took me 4 long years to find the real treasure among the fake ones. I rode the waves and surf my royal b-u-f-f off for 4 long years to find the “love of my life”. Finding the real thing is both exciting and frustrating. I almost lost hope. I almost gave up. I almost let go.
Looking back now, I have realized that “love” is still a mystery. It is still a mystery that one does not want to explain for fear of losing its magnetism. I was not alone in this quest for life-fulfilling pursuit of one true love. And I know there are still a lot of hopefuls who are in search of that one true love. And just like anyone else who believe in one true love… we believe that life is a chance to experience love. So we are willing to take that chance. ©
