Filipina women are generally frank when they have something nice to say. Like when they like your new haircut or when they think you did a good job at something. They normally say what they think if it’s nothing negative. And when it comes to expressing criticisms or passing on bad news, given that these “must be expressed”, you can often expect that it will be said in a nice less shocking way. When they’re the ones in the receiving end, they also expect that things are conveyed to them gently.
Now what does that have to do with her indescribable attitude when she (a Filipina) is mad? If you have hurt her feelings, you can expect to receive a very “cold shoulder” or worse, a “silent treatment”? You can be sure to get a plain and cold “yes”, “no”, or “maybe” to every question you ask. If it is bad, she may not talk to or even look at you at all.
Why?
You see, Filipinas are taught not to talk back to their parents (the persons they love and respect), to their older siblings, to teachers and other people of authority otherwise they will be branded as “bastos” (rude, discourteous) or “walang modo” (uncouth, uneducated, ill-mannered). In Filipino culture, a child (at any age) talking back to her parents is completely unacceptable. When her parents scold her about something, she’s not supposed to reason out unless asked. In this case obviously the child cannot express herself through words. She can only let her parents know how she feels through “pagtatampo” (sulking—the nearest English equivalent). She will refuse to talk to anybody, refuse to eat, and other things that will alienate herself from the family. This is the reason why Filipinas are so indirect when it comes to saying they’re mad and when it comes to confronting you about why they are mad. Culture taught them this.
How do you deal with her when she is in “pagtatampo” mode?
Well, if you know a Filipino man… it’s best to get advice from him.
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I agree, hun! We do the tampo thing when we are mad at our partner.
nice post.
I AGREE WITH THIS POST. hehehhe..