Bizarre Marriage

May 30, 2008

When You Forget to Smell the Roses

Filed under: About Her, Asian Women, This and That — Tags: , , — ruthi @ 4:56 pm

PhotobucketMy mother used to tell me… Don’t forget to stop and smell the roses. And I did just that. I was a real good girl. I had a wonderful childhood. I had a fruitful transition from puberty to young adulthood. I became a successful adult in terms of career and personal life. I had my fair share of achievements, successes, and relationships here and there because I did what I was told.

Then my mother had a stroke. I had to give up a promising career and head back home to take care of her. I had no regrets. The corporate jungle was no longer a fun place, anyway. I was stressed out. Work was no longer exciting and fulfilling. And my personal life suffered a big blow. It was time to take a different path after all.

While my mother was recuperating, I went back to school to take units in Education. A change of career was the best thing for me to do at that time. I changed from being a corporate executive assistant to a high school teacher. It was a 360 degrees turn. But it was amazing.

I taught high school kids for 11 long years. It was the most life-changing experience for me. Life went on for me. And I was happy, productive and motivated. It was on the 4th year of my teaching career when my mom passed away. It was difficult but I moved on and continued teaching. Since then, my job took a lot of my time and before I knew it, I was already fast approaching my late 30s with no social life, no romantic involvement and no future plans. That’s what happened when I stopped smelling the roses.

I reached rock bottom when I hit 40. You know what they say, life begins at 40 and I have no life to begin with. My brother [the middle child] already has 3 wonderful kids whom I claimed my inspirations. What else can I do? I don’t have my own inspirations to brag, so I stole my brother’s kids for inspirations. I was avoiding class reunions. School works are my constant alibis. And I was a mess.

But with the magic of technology, I had not known that things for me will take a different twist. I can’t recall how it all started. All I knew was that my girlfriends [those who are still single and matured in age] and I were always playing joke that maybe we are meant for – The International Market. And so I took that joke seriously. Since I am not really interested and attracted to Filipino men, I finally took the most radical step to find my Prince Charming. So I went online. First time I did was to promote myself in Friendster one of the most popular social networks in the Philippines.

It may look as if I really took the joke seriously but it just so happened that it also worked for me. I met a lot of people [mostly guys] and had some unorthodox relationships online for a span of 4 years. Online relationship has become a world wide trend and I was there making history. It’s not a fictional thing that people are trying to figure out. I can’t say that everybody is doing it but it is happening. It is real. It is there and readily accessible to anyone interested, confused or curious.

I did meet someone. We had developed an understanding. We made plans. He came to meet me personally. But still it didn’t work out. I also met someone who promised me everything except the moon and the stars, but still didn’t happen. It was exasperating. Four years were too long for me. I realized that maybe I am not meant to go that route. And so I gave up. I’ve finally given up but still went online just to talk to friends but no longer fishing for big fish. But lo and behold… that very moment when I finally gave up… that was when I met the “love of my life”.

Finally, I was able to stop and smell the roses again. ©

May 29, 2008

The Modern Day Quest

Filed under: About Her, This and That — Tags: , — ruthi @ 8:37 pm

PhotobucketIs love really hard to find or just evasive? Is love the ultimate goal of humanity or just a kind of sports to measure one’s strength? Is love all around us or just a cliché? Love… love… love… where art thou?

Modern day romance has retained a certain degree of mystery which is considered as a redeeming factor in the “love department” since time immemorial. But the current trend in romantic involvement in this modern day, be it in the pursue for the one true love… the search for one’s soul mate… or the waiting for the knight-in-shining armor… follows the same degree of ambiguity that lovers cannot explain. And yet, lovers still take a leap of faith into the abyss of uncertainties to find the missing part in their heart. This is however, highly hypothetical.

By now, we already know a lot of love stories ever told. And we can relate to them. We sometimes fantasize some of them. Oftentimes we emulate a few of them.

Looking for love in this age of technology is easy. So it seems. It is an advantage for a woman of my age though. The gift of technology is a blessing in disguise because it became a powerful tool to find one’s heart’s desire.

As you may have known by now, I found my “knight-in-shining” armor online. The internet is instrumental to my destiny. It became my life-line to the netherworld of my strong-hopeless-romantic-optimism. It has nonetheless, saved me from the curse of “singlehood”.

It was a tedious quest so to speak. It took me 4 long years to find the real treasure among the fake ones. I rode the waves and surf my royal b-u-t-t off for 4 long years to find the “love of my life”. Finding the real thing is both exciting and frustrating. I almost lost hope. I almost gave up. I almost let go.

Looking back now, I have realized that “love” is still a mystery. It is still a mystery that one does not want to explain for fear of losing its magnetism. I was not alone in this quest for life-fulfilling pursuit of one true love. And I know there are still a lot of hopefuls who are in search of that one true love. And just like anyone else who believe in one true love… we believe that life is a chance to experience love. So we are willing to take that chance. ©

May 27, 2008

The Late Bloomer

Filed under: About Her, Before the Wedding, Cultural Differences, This and That — Tags: , — ruthi @ 11:18 am

PhotobucketTo say the least that I am a late bloomer by society’s standard is an understatement. I was just a typical small-town gal who has a good career. I was just a simple girl-next-door who was raised with good Christian values. And I was just a no-non-sense woman with big dreams.

I married late in life because of some valid reasons that I-don’t-care-if-people-think-otherwise that I believe are innate to my personality. And for what it’s worth, I have no regret whatsoever. I lived a life full of happy memories. And I love living my life just the way it is. Sure, I have hopes, aspirations and dreams. Some of them were achieved… others are attainable… and few of them are still in the waiting list.

I married late in life because I was also waiting for the right guy. I was picky. I was fussy. And I am very vocal about that. I have nothing to hide. I have no fear. I have no worries. So I just went on with my life. But before I knew it, I was already one of those women who are buying times.

I married late in life because I forgot one important thing in life. Being an organized person that I am, I have a good sense of direction. Being an optimistic person that I am, I have a positive outlook in life. Being a hopeless romantic that I am, I was sure that one day, my knight-in-shining-armor will come to sweep me off my feet. But I forgot one important thing. I forgot to set a “time frame”.

It was kinda late when I finally realized that as a human being and a woman for that matter, I have a certain limitation that my male counter part has so much to brag about. I forgot that women have an expiration date in terms of procreation. I forgot that women are a ticking “time-bomb” when they reach a certain age. I forgot that women are not flowers who are capable of pollination to reproduce. And that was my “wake-up call.”

Time factor is important to women of marrying age. It is something that we cannot dispute. It is something that we have to take advantage. It is something that we always hope to evade. And once that you realized that you are in that stage when “time” is not on your side… you have to improvise. You have to either slow it down. Or you have to do your work double time.

So what a determined woman like me had done to finally get hitched? I went to the offensive. Life is a battle and every one of us has its own battle to fight. And to win that battle you have to go for it. Be on the offensive side. Be aggressive. Be brave. Be very brave. ©

May 24, 2008

The Last Train and Class Reunions

Filed under: About Her, Asian Women — Tags: , — ruthi @ 8:27 pm

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I almost missed the last train ride to Matrimony Avenue. I don’t know if you know what I mean. But from where I came from, if you are still “single” it is a common nuisance among women who are past their marrying age. Women who are “still single” at the age of 30 and up are mostly predisposed to suffer from mild low self-esteem to acute psychosomatic symptoms due to the stigma associated with being “single”. Whether it is a personal choice or no-choice-at-all option, singledom [read: kingdom for singles – I coined that term, not in the dictionary] has consequences that a woman, from where I came from, has to put up with.

Being a single, is a big deal with family members, relatives, friends, colleagues, neighbors, long time classmates and even with strangers-to-you-but-you-are-not-to-them kind of people. It’s frustrating. It’s depressing. It’s humiliating. Good thing I have ample supply of confidence, tolerance and sense of humor. That helped me survived the trying times. But still, I almost accepted my fate that I am bound to singlehood. I almost accepted the fact that men are already considered as extinct species. And I almost got accepted to join the convent. Whew!

When you are a 40-ish woman, even if you have a good career and a sophisticated life-style you are still a loser if you have no one to tag along to your class reunions. Even if you are well-established and well-educated you need to come up with an alibi not to attend the class reunions because you know that your “EX”, will be there parading his wife and kids and you have no one to show off. And even if you have accumulated money and power you will still be considered as a failure if you don’t have a partner to join the different silly contests-for-couples-that-meant-to-make-you-look-stupid for old time’s sake and fun. Worse case scenario, you will end up babysitting your best-friend’s kid [who happened to be your godchild] in your Manolo Blahnik stiletto because mama bear and papa bear are having fun playing “Trip to Jerusalem” game… the adult version.

The High School Class of 1982 had its 25th Class Reunion last 4th of May, 2007. I didn’t attend it. I missed our class reunion. And I have an alibi. I was working on my Fiancé Visa at the US Embassy. ©

May 23, 2008

Oops… I Did It Again!

Filed under: About Her, This and That — Tags: , — ruthi @ 5:37 pm

IN MY MIND, I can hear Britney Spears singing that song clad in her hot revealing body hugging outfit dancing with a bunch of energetic back-up dudes. In my mind, I can hear the song and it makes my head jiggle while I am typing. And in my mind, I can hear the song and it makes me hum a soft tune. For a moment, I wonder if I still have the “moves” I used to have when I was a bit younger.

A few days back, I committed myself to Vienna to co-author her MyPinkNotes.com out of sheer curiosity to try out new things. It’s not really a big deal. Vienna and I – we have a special connection… virtually and otherwise. We met in a very unconventional way and in an instant I guess we clicked, both literally and figuratively. So, I have no regrets with the decision I made. In fact, I really enjoy writing for My Pink Notes. Did I tell you that, “pink” is my favorite color? Never mind.

Anyway, co-authorship is totally a new thing to me because I always do things “solo”. Not because I am a loner. Nope, I love companionship [that is why I had to take that last train ride to Matrimony Avenue just last year]. Not because I am a reclusive loser. Nah, I appreciate camaraderie with friends and relatives [even with some friendly strangers]. Not because I am an introvert. No way, I used to be the life of the party [oh, those days].

LAST NIGHT, Vienna talked me out again into another blogging endeavor. This time, I didn’t jump right into it without thinking. You see, Vienna has a certain charm that you cannot resist and before you know it, you will end up in a blind alley… so be warned. She is a charmer and it is her secret weapon… so beware. She is a pro… so be scared. Good thing, I am nippy and I can smell danger like a wicked fox. [I wonder why my power didn’t work the first time.] Last night, Vienna asked me again to co-author her other “baby” – BizarreMarriage.com. She was as sweet and innocent as ever. I didn’t even see it coming. She asked me in as-a-matter-of-factly way, that I almost said “yes” again. Good thing, I was cautious that time. And last night, I told Vienna… LET ME SLEEP ON IT. And she agreed.

GUESS WHAT? She won again. So here I am again, knocking my brain off to come up with my first post for this website to have a head’s start. I cannot promise you anything. I am just a simple stay-at-home wife and an “alien” step-mother. She said I have a lot to share here. She said I can do anything here. And she said I should feel at home here. [That’s how she operates.]

I cannot promise you guys anything because I know you love Vienna and her writings. I cannot guarantee that my writing style will be as good as hers. I cannot assure you that my ideas are as brilliant as hers. But if there is one thing that I am sure of, Vienna trusts me and so, I have a job to do.

Oh well what the heck… let’s give it a shot and blog on. ©

BizarreMarriage.com Welcomes a New Author!

Filed under: This and That — Tags: , , , — Vienna @ 11:33 am

The scarcity of posts across all my blogs is due to the fact that I am extremely busy these days. As you might have learned from My Take on Things blog, we are moving to another city so preparations for this major move are taking so much of my time. Fortunately for this blog and My Pink Notes blog, I got somebody to see to it that posts come regularly.

Ruthi is a Filipina blogger whom I met online. Although we have not met face to face yet, I can say from our long chats that she’s a smart woman and a trustworthy person. I choose her to co-author My Pink Notes blog with me because I like her style of writing—heart warming and light. As for BizarreMarriage.com, I also believe that she could write great articles here since she’s in an intercultural marriage herself. It would good for this blog to have some of her thoughts because she can really present them in an interesting and funny-with-a-touch-of-sarcasm-but-still-delightful kind of way.

So if you are looking for some enjoyable reads, you can look forward to Ruthi’s articles about bizarre marriages and relationships.

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