Online Dating 101: Getting Started
When I started learning how to use the computer I was only thinking how it will help me with my line of work. Being a teacher, it helped me a lot with my lessons and grade computations. Little did I know that it will also help me find a husband.
In online Dating, decision making is a painstaking process especially if you are not sure of its possible outcome. Even if you were able to make a [fuzzy] mission statement and a [vague] vision of your future in online dating, still there will be a shade of apprehension about the upshot of what you might be deciding on. We both know too that mission and vision are still elusive at this point due to some uncertainties that you harbor at the back of your mind because honestly, the reality is still surreal especially if you are the conventional and typical kind of person.
When I started learning to know the great possibilities that I can do with the computer, it dawned on me how important this tool not only in my work but in my future as well. I took advantage of those opportunities that I can get out of it. I used them to the fullest. I taught myself to use them to benefit my love life. I explored all options that could be advantageous to my personal concerns. And I am now enjoying the result of my hard work.
Yes, online dating is a real hard work just like any other relationship for that matter. And one of the hardships that you will encounter is – getting started. It’s hard to start especially if you do not know what to do… where to go… when to go… and how to go there.
In order to get started, you should be able to deal with the 3 Ws and an H.
WHAT: This is the first issue that you need to address with all honestly. By this time, you should already have a clear idea of “what” you want to do with you life. But this is not really that complicated anymore when you already have your mission statement. In other words, the “what” is your starting point to the next step of the decision making process which is… to figure it out how you will make your mission-vision come true. The “what” will be then more tangible and concrete and this will guide you to “where” you want to go.
WHERE: Where – is always associated with location, a special place or a respite where you can search for that one special someone in your vision. So it could be first and foremost, the place where you will go online. It could be the internet café or a friend’s place or your own [In my case, I used all of the above]. Once you have decided on that, “where” is also the specific place where you see your vision being manifested. This means that you must have in mind which part of the world your special someone must come from. Please be aware that there is a great possibility that once you found your soul mate and when things between you get serious, the odds of you being relocated is huge. You will have to accept the fact that you will have to give up everything [I mean it] in order to be with that someone. But if your dream is to live and work abroad, then this is not a problem at all. Where also denotes two actual places: the free social network [like YM Chatroom, where I found my guy] and paid matchmaking network [like eHarmony and others]. (Note: There will be a separate article on this special topic.)
WHEN: When – refers to time. This is a very important factor in online dating. You must have it. You must commit to it. You must give in to it. There should be no alibi now. Having no time is not an excuse for you to go online. Once you have the time, you will soon develop a habit and that is common… that is natural… and that is the norm for anyone who decided to seek online dating. You will be hooked once you learned how to do it. You will have sleepless nights and you might want to give up your night job or God forbids… even your day job just to be online 24/7. It’s addictive. That is one of the downside of it.
HOW: This is the go-getter of the entire process. Technically, the “how” is the skill that you need to acquire to be able to make your mission statement and vision a reality. First, you need to learn the basic skill in computing. And from there you are good to go. You don’t have to be a computer savvy. Nope, you only need to know some special commands and everything will be a breeze. You can ask help from the staff of the internet café or your friends and anyone who are available and willing to help you and you are all set. Once you learn the skill you are now ready to catch the biggest fish in the ocean. You are now licensed to fish.
But there is still one W that is not mentioned from the discussion above. That W stands for – the WHO. It was not really mentioned because this issue is kinda subjective. Of course you already have in your mind what kind of a person you are looking for, the place where you might want to spend the rest of your life but never whom you are spending it with… that is why you are seeking. The “who” is that person you are looking for and you will be amazed with the result. Here, you don’t need any skill. What you do need is – the faith. The “who” is the W that will give your search a spice of mystery. Now that you know all these… are you ready to be the big S? THE SEEKER, that is. ©
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