I am married to an Austrian for almost two years but I haven’t really realized the difference in the cuisine until now. Before we moved to Austria a couple of weeks ago, we have been living in as expats in China. China and Philippines have a lot of differences but I am quite glad of one thing—citizens of both countries consider rice as a very important part of every meal.

Being married to a European means eating less rice and while it was a big adjustment for me in the beginning, it was sort of okay because we were living in China. I can get rice anywhere and I can get it cheap.

Now that we are in Austria, things are a lot different and among those things is how rice is treated in this country. I knew already that people here don’t eat rice with every meal but I didn’t know that rice is being expensively priced. I was really shocked when we did our food shopping for the first time here.

In the Philippines and in China, we can buy rice in sacks (50kls/sack). Here…to my amusement—we buy rice in tiny boxes! If it were in Asia, this one box will not be enough to feed a family for even a day!

Also, they don’t have that many choices. I can count the kind of rice they sell in a regular store with my fingers. It is also kind of weird how they appreciate the kind of rice grains that don’t stick to each other than the ones that do. That tells me that when it comes to rice, they simply don’t know what’s good.

Considering the rice prices and the kind of rice they sell here, I’d say, I won’t be eating that much rice from now on.

Most of the people we know are amazed at the fact that after almost three years of being together my husband and I still act like we are a new couple. No bickering, no deadly stares, no sarcasms. We are always sweet to each other so people started to ask us how are we able to do it.

I don’t know exactly but I have a good feeling that the fact that we don’t share a toilet and bathroom has something to do with it (LOL). The flat we lived in in Changchun and the flat we are living in now have two bathrooms so we just kind of agree who’s going to use which bathroom.

We don’t have to wait turns. Nobody needs to knock at the door and beg the other person because he/she urgently needs to use the bathroom. And if we have to go somewhere else, we can prepare at the same time. This means nobody has to wait several minutes for the other person while that other person is preparing. Also, since I am confident that I am the only one using “my” bathroom, I can leave a few strands of hair on the floor when I am rushing without worrying that there will be somebody complaining. Same is with my husband. He can freely use his electric shaver without minding a few of his facial shavings being scattered around the sink. We can clean our bathrooms in our own time or we can wait for the maid to do it. Nobody is bothered. Nobody is disturbed. Everything is sunshine.

I wonder how it is going to be in Europe. We are moving there in April and the flat waiting for us has only one toilet and bathroom.

I am not a morning person. The only possible reason for me to stand up early would be because I had more than enough sleep. That’s what happened today when I woke up at 5am. Being able to sleep for 9 hours uninterrupted, my body told me that I have to stand up at 5 otherwise I will just twist and turn and will probably wake my husband up disgruntled.

So I stood up, checked my emails, and then I read a book while enjoying my cup of coffee. Then I remembered that my husband had told that he has to wake up early because he has some very important early morning meeting at work so at 7am, I woke him up so that he could be at work by 8am (normally he goes to work at 9:00-9:30). He obediently woke up and did his morning routines.

Before he left for work, he told me something.

Marcus: Schatzi, next time please let my alarmclock wake me up.
Me: Why?
Marcus: Because I hate my alarmclock.

I know I have written about divorce in the Philippines in my other blog but I also have to write about it here specially because this blog is not only about intercultural relationships but this blog is also about married couples and marriage as a whole. Now, for those of you who don’t know yet, there is no divorce in the Philippines. Meaning Philippine citizens can only marry once until their partner dies or until their marriage is annulled.

There is a huge difference between annulment and divorce but in simple words, annulment can be defined as the process of proving that a marriage is not valid. Annulment needs deeper reasons and these reasons should be proven before an annulment is granted and once it’s granted, the two persons in an annulled marriage can marry other persons. Divorce, on the other hand is a legal act to dissolve a marriage and reasons for divorce can be anything. Is there annulment in the Philippines? Yes. Is it easy to get an annulment and can any couple apply for an annulment? No and no. Why? Well for annulment, you need a “valid” reason to begin with. Is your spouse gay? Is your spouse mentally crazy and you only learned about it after the marriage? Were you too young when you got married making you “psychologically incapacitate” at the time of your marriage (or vice versa)? These are just some of the accepted reasons but I tell you, there aren’t a lot. Reasons like home violence and infidelity are not accepted as grounds for annulment. And for people who like to get out of a failed marriage, they normally can just result to separation which can end marital problems but does not stop the marriage. Meaning, separated couples are still considered by the law as “married” and therefore they cannot remarry.

What if you are married to somebody who is not Filipino? What if you married outside the Philippines? Can you get divorced? The answer is a big fat NO. You see, when you get married to a foreign person in another country, you normally register your marriage to the nearest Philippine Embassy. You need to do this specially if you need to change your name in your Passport and because Philippine Law demands that you do. Once you register your marriage to the embassy, you’ll be regarded as “married” so no matter where you are, if you are a Filipino, you are still under and you are still expected to abide by the Philippine Law. Your foreign spouse can divorce you but you can’t divorce your foreign spouse. Why? Because your foreign spouse is not bound to the Philippine Law but you are. Your non-Filipino spouse can remarry but you can’t.

Many will dispute this but I personally agree that the proposed Divorce Bill in the Philippines should be approve immediately because I believe that there is no sanctity in an oppressive marriage and for a person who is in such deserve to get out from it should be given a chance to find quality marital relationship with another person.

I got an email from a reader who wanted to ask a few questions and I decided to publish our exchange for the benefit of others who might be needing the same information.

***

Dear CJ,

Here are my answers.

Your Q : My boyfriend has asked about the requirements for getting married but he doesn’t know if I am legally allowed to stay in Austria right away after getting married there.

- Upon legally getting married there (Austria), you are automatically allowed to stay there.

Your Q : Did you enter Austria via a tourist visa?

- I entered Austria using a “Visit” visa. Sorry, but I am not sure if it is equivalent to “Tourist”. You see, processing of “Tourist” visa to enter Austria is different from processing a “Visit” visa.

- With Tourist visa, the Austrian embassy would require YOU to prove that you are financially able to stay there and that you have the intention of exiting Austria before your tourist visa expires, meaning, they will ask for documents showing that you are financially stable, i.e. bank statements, business certificate, etc (whatever they think necessary) and that you have something to go back to like a job or a property or business. They will make sure that your intention is just to “tour” Austria.

- It is slightly different with the Visit visa because this Visa says you are invited by somebody (an Austrian citizen) and that somebody is fully responsible for you. In this case, the Austrian embassy will ask the one who invited you (not you) for documents and these documents are supposed to show that he/she is financially able to support your during the entire duration of your stay in Austria. He have to show this bank statements, job contract, etc. and he also have to pay for your insurance (a little bit less than 100€ if I remember right). The only thing that the Austrian Embassy will need from you is your passport and the filled-up visa application form.

Your Q : How long was your tourist visa valid for (if that is what you had) and did you state that you intended to marry when you applied for your visa?

- The first time I went to Austria, I got a Visit visa. It took us 3 months to process all. We were too slow to gather all the necessary documents but as soon as we submitted the documents to the Austrian Embassy, it took only 2 weeks to get my visa. If you can collect the required documents in a week, it means you’ll get your visa in 3 weeks time. Anyway, the visa I got for the first time is just for 15 days and on the 15th day, I exited Austria.

- We did the whole process again for the second time. We applied for another Visit visa that will last for 30 days. My husband had to submit all the documents (some are updated dox) again but it didn’t take us too long like the first time and we didn’t have any problem getting a second one (nor the first one). The Austrian embassy granted another visa to me and they know that we have the intention to get married. With in these 30 days in Austria, we got married. After the wedding, we applied for my Aufenhastitel (like a green card). It’s not difficult and it is fast.

Your Q : Were you allowed to stay in Austria while waiting for your “Austrian green card (I forgot what you called it)” or did you have to leave?

- I exited Austria before my 30 days visit visa ended because we needed to go back to China so I cannot say for sure if Austria will kick you out when your visa expires even if you are already married to an Austrian citizen (but I don’t think so). Processing of Aufenhaltstitel normally will take 2 weeks maximum. Upon getting married, postpone the honeymoon (hehe), process your Aufenhaltstitel first.

The most effective way when applying for a visa to Austria is to be honest and transparent. Don’t apply for a student visa or a tourist visa when what you really you intend is to get married there. If you plan to stay together there without getting married right away is another story and I am sorry if I cannot give you an advice for this.

Also, let your boyfriend be the one to communicate with the Austrian embassy. It’s much easier this way. Let him ask his embassy what he needs to do so he can take you there and marry you. This is the best way. I am sure that if the Austrian embassy will see sincerity of your intentions and that you are both capable, they will not deny you of an entry to Austria.

As for you, you have some documents to prepare for the wedding (granted that your BF will be the one to arrange the visa). If you will read my blog, Bizarremarriage.com, you’ll find that there is complete explanation on what documents you’ll need and what you’ll need these documents for. Make sure that you have these documents before you enter Austria.

I’ll give you a glimpse of how long we needed until we were finally married.

Feb 2008 – we got engaged (started wedding plans)
June 2008 – my first trip to Austria (meeting his family)
October – second trip to Austria (this time, we got married)

From Feb to August (6 months) we planned for the wedding. He concentrated on my visa and I collected the required documents for the wedding (my documents). It took me a long time because I needed to get these from the Philippines.

Given that you intend to marry on your first trip in Austria, these are the sets of documents you need to prepare:

- Documents for your visa ( for the love of God, ask your BF to process this for you… in this way, you can save you more time and effort)

- Documents for your wedding ( these are YOUR documents from the Philippines)

- Documents for your wedding (these are HIS documents, he can get in Austria … I don’t think it’s a lot)

After the wedding, you can immediately apply for the Aufenhaltstitel.

About getting married in US… we’ll that’s something I cannot help you with. I don’t know if it is easier for you to get a visa and get married in Austria or get married in the US and get a visa to Austria.

Either way, you still have to go through the Austrian Embassy, you will still have to submit documents.

I hope I answered all your questions. If you have more, please read my blog… maybe the answer is there but if not, you may email me again.

Regards,
Vienna Lopez

_____________________________________________________________
Von: CJ
Gesendet: Donnerstag, 10. April 2008 11:39
An: Vienna Lopez
Betreff: Re: Bizarre Marriage

Hi there Vienna! My boyfriend and I are wanting to get married, but we also don’t want to be apart anymore after we tie the knot. So initially, we planned on me applying for a student visa to Austria to get permission to stay in there for a few years. This will then buy us time to get married and process my residency papers as his wife while staying together. But as time has passed, we are more eager to get married and the process for securing admittance to the University of Vienna is very tricky in my situation right now (since I am in the US but still a Filipino citizen). My BF has asked about the requirements for getting married but he doesn’t know if I am legally allowed to stay in Austria right away after getting married there. Did you enter Austria via a tourist visa? Can you give me a timeline of events like when and how did you apply for a marriage license, when did you arrive in Vienna, how long after that did you get married? How long was your tourist visa valid for (if that is what you had) and did you state that you intended to marry when you applied for your visa? Were you allowed to stay in Austria while waiting for your “Austrian green card (I forgot what you called it)” or did you have to leave? I have a lot of questions, I know, but I hope you can patiently give me your advice.

My BF and I are also considering getting married here in the US and then bringing me over to Austria….. but we don’t know exactly how long this will take and how long we will be apart before I can come follow him. So we are hoping that if it is possible for me to stay in Austria after we get married there, this will be the solution.

Thank you very much for responding to my message in your blog! Hope to hear from you soon!

Sincerely,
CJ
___________________________________________________________
On Wed, Apr 9, 2008 at 8:58 PM,
Vienna Lopez wrote:

Hello CJ,

Thanks for visiting my blog.

So tell me, how can I be of help?

Vienna
____________________________________________________________
Von: CJ
Gesendet: Donnerstag, 10. April 2008 08:45
An: Vienna Lopez
Betreff: Bizarre Marriage
CJ wrote:
Hi there! I sent you a comment on your blog about
requirements for getting married to a european guy. I hope we can get in touch as I am in a similar situation and would like to “follow in your footsteps” as you seem to have been successful. My name is Joy, and my Austrian boyfriend. Hope I will hear from you soon!

Written on : January 16, 2008

We worked out a plan concerning our problem about being away from each other for three months. I will not go to Austria this summer to study German there but I have to get a tutor here and I must take my lessons seriously. I must really learn how to speak before we go there for a two weeks vacation in May. By then, I should be good enough to pass the examination. So we will risk it. I will take the course’s examination without attending its lessons. Getting the school to agree to this is yet another thing we have to manage but right now I am just glad to know that we don’t have to be separated for 3 months.

My previous German tutor is an Austrian. I had around 10 sessions with her but she is now expecting so she needed to go back to Austria for good. Marcus got me another tutor and she is a Korean who is married to a Belgian guy. She can speak Korean, Chinese, English, Belgian, and German. Impressive. I met her today for our first lesson and I have to say that she is quite good. She’s not a native speaker of German but she teaches this language well.

Maybe a lot of you are wondering why Marcus is not teaching me. Well, Marcus is not a very good teacher. Sure he can speak perfect German (obviously because it’s his mother tongue) but he doesn’t know how to explain the intricacies of it. He can correct me if my grammar is wrong however he cannot explain why my grammar is wrong and how I can make it right. Plus, we are so used to speaking in English with each another. So far, the most difficult thing that I have to overcome in this intercultural marriage thing is that even if Marcus can speak perfect English, I still have to study German. Do you know what’s his? For him, the most difficult thing to overcome is eating balut (fertilized duck eggs).

Everything worked out with our post wedding documents. We fulfilled all the requirements and now I have my E-card (Health Insurance) and my Aufenhaltstitel (Austrian equivalent to US Green Card). I am now allowed to enter and leave Austria as I pleased without the hassles of getting a VISA. With this, I am not only allowed to stay in Austria but I am allowed to work there as well. There is just this one more thing we need to do. In Austria, immigrants are required to complete an Austrian Integration Course. This is a 300 hours course that will run in three months. In this course, one has to learn how to speak, understand, and write German. There would be some lessons about Austrian culture, tradition, and maybe history. It’s a law in Austria that every immigrant should be able to integrate in their society.

I am perfectly okay with this but there is one problem. I have the allowance to complete this course within 24 months from the day the municipal hall gave me the voucher for it. By the way, this course is being paid by the government and after completing all the lessons, I should be able to pass some sort of a test otherwise I would have to repeat the whole course again in my own expense. Given that I can attend all the classes, I am confident to say that I am pretty much sure I can pass the examination but Marcus and I are not in Austria thus I won’t be able to attend the classes. Our only option (at the moment) is that I will go to Austria in the summer and stay there for three months to attend the course and Marcus will stay in China. This is not good. Marcus and I don’t like to be away from each other that long.