Dear Schatz,

It’s more than a month since my last letter. A lot has happened since then but I am glad that the changes were all positive.

I am glad we had that talk. I am glad that you listened to me. I am glad that you understand me. I am glad that from then on, you are trying to change some things.

I listened to you too and I also understand you so I am also now trying to change some things.

I specially appreciate your effort to spend more time with me in the last weeks. I appreciate your effort in helping me more with the house work. You were already helping me before but as you know, this place is more demanding than our previous flat.  I also appreciate that you consult me now with everything you want to do with the house. In return, I am trying to minimize my work related tasks to have more time for you and for other things like cooking and baking—things you so want me to learn.

And I am glad that all our efforts are working.

We’re more relaxed now. I hope this will continue.

Ich liebe dich!

Kussl,
Schatzl



Dear Schatz,

I am super glad that I have a week off. It’s good for me. A week off my stressful work is really a blessing to my wilting soul and should be celebrated by just being lazy. Yes. Being lazy—sitting around, doing nothing, eating when I am hungry, and sleeping when I want. I feel the need to replenish my energy this way. I know that there are tons of things to do like unpacking our boxes, cleaning this and that, ironing clothes, organizing stuff, and so on but I want a break from all of these otherwise, I will get crazy.

I know that if you were the one having a week off from your work, you’ll work on the house nonstop. Unfortunately for me, I don’t have the energy or maybe the spirit to do that.

We’ve worked hard. Can we slow down a bit from here on?

And yeah, the thing I was talking about in my last letter—the thing about “buying a house” giving me a whole new insight to our relationship. You see, we never have to worry about a lot of things prior to the purchase of this house so I am quite surprise that personalities I didn’t know exist are surfacing just because we bought a house. I am not only referring to your personalities but mine as well. I realized that we are two people who want completely different things. Of course you consult me about what I want but not without giving me a preselected (by you) set of choices. It’s like… “Okay, these are the things I like, now what do you like from these things?” What happens if I want something completely out of your preselected things? I get a lengthy explanation why it is not possible, or it is not the best solution, or whatever. So what happens next? I give in and choose something from your preselected things.

Also, I know that everybody is excited about this house and I love your parents and I honestly think that they’re great and are nice persons but if we agreed on something already, can we please just push through with that without you consulting your parents about it? I know you value your parents’ advice and I do too but there are just things that I believe, we can very well manage by ourselves.

I know you just want what’s best for the house and I honestly think you have a very good taste but sometimes…just sometimes, I wish you could also let me feel that I have a “say” on this house. Sure, you let me decide over things but I am not a stupid not to know that these are unimportant and are only given to me to decide on just to make me feel that I am also making some decisions.

I’ve always thought that I am strong-willed person so I am really surprise to find myself succumbing almost always.

Maybe I still am a strong-willed person.

Maybe that’s the reason why I have this burdensome feeling every time I “just” give in.

But why do I yield?

I know…

Ich liebe dich mein Schatz.

Kussl,
Schatzl

Dear Schatz,

The last weeks have been physically difficult for both of us and to tell you honestly, I haven’t been coping well emotionally either. I probably just can’t handle such stress that is why small things easily get to my nerves and I am becoming too touchy too.

I don’t remember blogging about us fighting or about us being in a miserable situation (relationship-wise) and that is because everything’s been really smooth between us. Two and a half years of marriage and not a single fight. There were tiny conflicts every now and then but not one lasted a day. I am quite proud of us.
But then we bought a house.

It’s actually great but then things associated with buying, owning, and putting a house together gave me a whole new insight into our relationship and I will definitely blog about it when I have more time.

Love you,
Schatzl

Dear Schatz,

So we finally sold our financial souls to the gods of Austrian real estate and bought ourselves a house.

Well, not exactly a house because we share walls with the neighbors. I don’t know how to translate “Reihenhaus” in English but the internet says it is a “town house” so town house it is. I like its simplicity and the fact that we are the first to live in it. I also like the fact that we can still construct some aspects of the house the way we want it and most of all, I like the fact that we are doing it together.

I still feel like I am going to pass out every time I think of our handsome credit but I must really love the house because I am prepared to close my eyes and stomach the fact that we are in debt for XX years. Everybody says it is just normal here and they also say that if we can’t afford it then who can? 90% of the adult population in Austria has some sort of a credit so it’s about time for us to join the wagon. For most people here, getting that amount of house loan is not ambitious at all—it is perfectly normal.

So,okay…I am convinced.

But doing the painting by ourselves?

That’s AMBITIOUS!

Of course, we didn’t know that. We thought, painting a house shouldn’t be so different from having a walk in the park. Hah! A walk in the park my ass! I haven’t done anything more exhausting than this. I have climbed the Simatai Great Wall in Beijing—hiked for more than 5 hours under the heat of the summer sun. It was a tough hike but painting topped that very difficult physical task.

Do you know that my I am aching from head to toe?!?

And my fingers—they feel like they grew twice their size overnight. My wedding ring feels so tight that I took it off. I will not wear it until I can’t feel the pain on my delicate fingers anymore—my poor fingers! They feel so swollen even if they look perfectly normal. I don’t mind the mess but the pain makes me wish that we had the painting done by professionals instead.

But then again, it is fun. So, maybe, it is okay that we decided to do it by ourselves.  I believe that if you work on something, you’ll value that particular thing more and that’s how I feel about this house—it is already very dear to me.  After painting a wall, I look at it and feel like a kindergarten kid who’s got three colorful stickers for her “art”. No matter how uneven the painting job I did looks like, I am proud so I think you’d understand why I wouldn’t let you repaint the walls and ceilings I painted.

It is a tough job, true, but there’s a consolation and for me that is the fact that you work twice as hard as me and that you are feeling the physical pain from manual work too.

So honestly speaking, I’d rather paint a house with you than to do the ironing alone.

Love you,
Schatzl

Dear Schatz,

This is my first time to write an open letter. Pardon my lack of subtleness   but I just have to mention that that means, even if this letter is addressed to only one person (and that is you), it can be read by anybody.

I should’ve posted an entry on this blog long time ago but I was not able to do it and for that I have to blame my new job and how it is taking up most of my time. Before I got that job, I have so much time on my hand. Now, I already forgot how it feels like to be not rushing all the time.  But anyway, enough about me and my new job because it’s you I like to talk about right now.

I probably haven’t said it enough but you are really the best thing that ever happened to me. I remembered once when I told you that, you looked at me then you blurted out, “I am not a thing!” Well you see… it’s the way we say it in English (or at least in Filipino English). The “thing” there doesn’t mean an “object” but more like a “circumstance”.  I knew you were just kidding when you blurted that out but still, I felt the need to explain. I suppose that’s the teacher in me.

I know you like to make fun of languages as you so often pretend to talk to me in Filipino. For example you’ll say something like “talakmakatakulatukakmatikalpakamalakatamunatiwa” and then bet that there’s a word there somewhere that has a real meaning in Filipino. You said, the Filipino language uses a lot of “a” so it shouldn’t be difficult to learn it. Last time we check, you just know 50 Filipino words with their meanings. After three years of being together, I think you could’ve learn more. You still have my respect though because… well, considering that I am not really teaching you how to speak my language, you were still able to catch and memorize some words from our short trips in my country. You also pretend to speak Chinese sometimes and that is especially funny because you while you do so, you also try to make your eyes smaller and the effect on your handsome face is just hilariously ugly. And what about that very famous Italian song you always sing but instead of using the real song lyrics, you use the names of different pizzas and pastas and other Italian dishes….ha! That always makes me laugh.

You are funny and I really like that about you.

Of course there are also other things I like and love about you but I can’t say it all in one letter. Pardon my lack of subtleness again but that means that from now on, I’ll be writing letters to you on a regular basis on this blog. I know how unoriginal that is but lately, I am finding it easier to write when I pretend that I am just talking to somebody.  Imagine, I started writing this letter about 15 minutes ago and now I am almost done. It usually takes me an hour (at least) to think and to write a post (and that is not to say that it is a particularly great post) for this blog so I feel glad that I am about to hit the publish button after a few minutes of typing.

I don’t know if you visit my blogs regularly. I don’t blame you if you don’t because you probably can’t anyway. With your busy schedule and the number of blogs I have, I’d be surprise if you can keep track of all all of them.  But I’m sure you’ll find this particular blog (without me telling you) and when you finally do, please don’t be mad that others get to read your letter(s) first, ok?

I love you.

Bussi,
Schatzl