My mother used to tell me… Don’t forget to stop and smell the roses. And I did just that. I was a real good girl. I had a wonderful childhood. I had a fruitful transition from puberty to young adulthood. I became a successful adult in terms of career and personal life. I had my fair share of achievements, successes, and relationships here and there because I did what I was told.
Then my mother had a stroke. I had to give up a promising career and head back home to take care of her. I had no regrets. The corporate jungle was no longer a fun place, anyway. I was stressed out. Work was no longer exciting and fulfilling. And my personal life suffered a big blow. It was time to take a different path after all.
While my mother was recuperating, I went back to school to take units in Education. A change of career was the best thing for me to do at that time. I changed from being a corporate executive assistant to a high school teacher. It was a 360 degrees turn. But it was amazing.
I taught high school kids for 11 long years. It was the most life-changing experience for me. Life went on for me. And I was happy, productive and motivated. It was on the 4th year of my teaching career when my mom passed away. It was difficult but I moved on and continued teaching. Since then, my job took a lot of my time and before I knew it, I was already fast approaching my late 30s with no social life, no romantic involvement and no future plans. That’s what happened when I stopped smelling the roses.
I reached rock bottom when I hit 40. You know what they say, life begins at 40 and I have no life to begin with. My brother [the middle child] already has 3 wonderful kids whom I claimed my inspirations. What else can I do? I don’t have my own inspirations to brag, so I stole my brother’s kids for inspirations. I was avoiding class reunions. School works are my constant alibis. And I was a mess.
But with the magic of technology, I had not known that things for me will take a different twist. I can’t recall how it all started. All I knew was that my girlfriends [those who are still single and matured in age] and I were always playing joke that maybe we are meant for – The International Market. And so I took that joke seriously. Since I am not really interested and attracted to Filipino men, I finally took the most radical step to find my Prince Charming. So I went online. First time I did was to promote myself in Friendster one of the most popular social networks in the Philippines.
It may look as if I really took the joke seriously but it just so happened that it also worked for me. I met a lot of people [mostly guys] and had some unorthodox relationships online for a span of 4 years. Online relationship has become a world wide trend and I was there making history. It’s not a fictional thing that people are trying to figure out. I can’t say that everybody is doing it but it is happening. It is real. It is there and readily accessible to anyone interested, confused or curious.
I did meet someone. We had developed an understanding. We made plans. He came to meet me personally. But still it didn’t work out. I also met someone who promised me everything except the moon and the stars, but still didn’t happen. It was exasperating. Four years were too long for me. I realized that maybe I am not meant to go that route. And so I gave up. I’ve finally given up but still went online just to talk to friends but no longer fishing for big fish. But lo and behold… that very moment when I finally gave up… that was when I met the “love of my life”.
Finally, I was able to stop and smell the roses again. ©
I was once asked what difficulties I encounter being in an intercultural marriage and I thought not much because my husband and I talked about almost all of the important things from the start. It was not enough to say that we love each other. It was also important to make some things clear.
