To say the least that I am a late bloomer by society’s standard is an understatement. I was just a typical small-town gal who has a good career. I was just a simple girl-next-door who was raised with good Christian values. And I was just a no-non-sense woman with big dreams.

I married late in life because of some valid reasons that I-don’t-care-if-people-think-otherwise that I believe are innate to my personality. And for what it’s worth, I have no regret whatsoever. I lived a life full of happy memories. And I love living my life just the way it is. Sure, I have hopes, aspirations and dreams. Some of them were achieved… others are attainable… and few of them are still in the waiting list.

I married late in life because I was also waiting for the right guy. I was picky. I was fussy. And I am very vocal about that. I have nothing to hide. I have no fear. I have no worries. So I just went on with my life. But before I knew it, I was already one of those women who are buying times.

I married late in life because I forgot one important thing in life. Being an organized person that I am, I have a good sense of direction. Being an optimistic person that I am, I have a positive outlook in life. Being a hopeless romantic that I am, I was sure that one day, my knight-in-shining-armor will come to sweep me off my feet. But I forgot one important thing. I forgot to set a “time frame”.

It was kinda late when I finally realized that as a human being and a woman for that matter, I have a certain limitation that my male counter part has so much to brag about. I forgot that women have an expiration date in terms of procreation. I forgot that women are a ticking “time-bomb” when they reach a certain age. I forgot that women are not flowers who are capable of pollination to reproduce. And that was my “wake-up call.”

Time factor is important to women of marrying age. It is something that we cannot dispute. It is something that we have to take advantage. It is something that we always hope to evade. And once that you realized that you are in that stage when “time” is not on your side… you have to improvise. You have to either slow it down. Or you have to do your work double time.

So what a determined woman like me had done to finally get hitched? I went to the offensive. Life is a battle and every one of us has its own battle to fight. And to win that battle you have to go for it. Be on the offensive side. Be aggressive. Be brave. Be very brave. ©

Filipina women are generally frank when they have something nice to say. Like when they like your new haircut or when they think you did a good job at something. They normally say what they think if it’s nothing negative. And when it comes to expressing criticisms or passing on bad news, given that these “must be expressed”, you can often expect that it will be said in a nice less shocking way. When they’re the ones in the receiving end, they also expect that things are conveyed to them gently.

Now what does that have to do with her indescribable attitude when she (a Filipina) is mad? If you have hurt her feelings, you can expect to receive a very “cold shoulder” or worse, a “silent treatment”? You can be sure to get a plain and cold “yes”, “no”, or “maybe” to every question you ask. If it is bad, she may not talk to or even look at you at all.

Why?

You see, Filipinas are taught not to talk back to their parents (the persons they love and respect), to their older siblings, to teachers and other people of authority otherwise they will be branded as “bastos” (rude, discourteous) or “walang modo” (uncouth, uneducated, ill-mannered). In Filipino culture, a child (at any age) talking back to her parents is completely unacceptable. When her parents scold her about something, she’s not supposed to reason out unless asked. In this case obviously the child cannot express herself through words. She can only let her parents know how she feels through “pagtatampo” (sulking—the nearest English equivalent). She will refuse to talk to anybody, refuse to eat, and other things that will alienate herself from the family. This is the reason why Filipinas are so indirect when it comes to saying they’re mad and when it comes to confronting you about why they are mad. Culture taught them this.

How do you deal with her when she is in “pagtatampo” mode?

Well, if you know a Filipino man… it’s best to get advice from him.

This is an interesting comment on an entry in my other blog

I take that he is saying that Asian women don’t express themselves well verbally and probably sexually too. The fact is it is true. A lot Asian women aren’t the most forward women on earth. You can’t expect an Asian women to tell you if she likes you as more than a friend or not. You have to find a way to find that out by yourself because she won’t tell you until she is sure you are crazy about her. Now, if these kind of Asian women make you (a western guy) nervous, just think that these women are probably twice as nervous as you because they’ll always doubt if they are taken seriously or not. I can’t say for sure but maybe these Asian women who want marriage before anything else would like to make sure that they are not on the losing side. That you are not the kind of western guy who came to Asia, had fun (with girls), then went home alone without looking back.

Although Asian’s views on sex and marriage are getting more and more modern, it is still behind to that of the West. A decent Asian woman don’t just have sex, she have to be in a relationship and it have to be a serious relationship. If an Asian woman would give herself to somebody then in the end did not marry that person, she will feel used. She will feel that she lost her face.

On the other hand, maybe there are some who would do anything to go out of their country.